Well, let first look at my stats for the results if I would have entered all the trades.

Yes, I would have ended my month with fucking almost 30R. 

That is a lottttt. yes, a lotttt.

But guess that I've got after one month. 

0.5R 

Now, for a positive mind, it's still a winning month for me. But a big losing one.

And that will give me a 63.333% win rate with a RR of 1:2. that's more than enough for me to pass everything I wanted.

Which equal to 1 trade per day.  And that's what I'm going to aim for this next month, June.

I know I have the skill, my stats shows that, but I don't know what i'm scare of.

I need to change my mindset, reset it. What I need to think should be long term, one SL does not mean anything at all. 

I need to look at SL as a fee, a really good fee that I need to pay, not a fine. it's a fee, an investment for my future. 

OK, so now is a little update for the month, there was a contest of The5%ers, which I'm currently in, but from what I think, this is not good for me, because of a few things:

1. I can not use EA to trade, which is not good for me, I will have to enter the trade manually, and it takes time.

2. It too short, only last 1 week, I can not prove anything with it, it makes me feel FOMO a lot of times. 

3. I got nothing out of it, because I see the people inside this contest is mostly "gambler",  the risk a lot to make a lot within one week. So I don't see a chance for me to win this contest at all, not the way I wanted it to be, not the way I normally trade. 

=> I might stop doing these contests, since it's not helping me at all, it just makes me all over the place. 

Like last night, I only supposed to enter 0.5% of my capital, but because I have so many accounts, I switched between them and something happened, I remembered I did enter 0.5%, but when the trade closed, my size is at 2%. Luckly it's a winning trade for me. 

Let me tell you, my demo phase 1 account is down bad, badly. But from that mistook, I gained back quite a lot. Well, would that changed my mind about sizing? Should I put more in the evaluation phase?

That's what people are saying, "you should sizing more on evals". Well, I think I need to consider that. 

Now let's update on my accounts.

First, the longest one, The5%ers:

I have this for, well, almost 2 years now, bro, WTF am I doing with this eval, I should either pass it or blow it. FOCUS.

Well, you see the spike there? That's last night's fault. Now, I will focus on getting this one back one track and pass it. 

I can do it with what I have. 

Next, FXCE:

It's been more than 1 year bro:

Look at this, 1 year 4 months and only 14 trade, 8 days of trading, this was wayyy back then. I did delete this account, and opened a new one.

It's still in drawdown, you see?

That's what I'm facing, I only entered the losing trades. Which no doubt leads me to be a consistent losing traders. 

This account, I have 2 months from now to get it back up to more than 1% in profit and I will be able to have a live account with it. That's what I aim for, come on, 1% within 3 months? Is that so hard for me?

If it's that hard, then I should not trade anymore.

haha.

Now this FXCE is free, so I don't lose anything, if I trade good, I get a profit split of 20%. So say if I was able to pass the first 3 months challenge and get a 5K live account. 

Then I will try to aim for 1% / month, that will be $200 per month x 20% = $40. Damn, that's low. haha

But ok, it's free. I shouldn't ask for more. 

Final, real investor:

I don't know this guy, but he posted on my forum looking for traders, so he invested $10 per person, if the trader is good then he will invest more, profit split 3-7. Not that bad, he need 1-2 weeks to see if we can trade, so this also is a good chance for me to prove myself that I can do it. 

So that's wrap for this month, May-2025.

Hopefully in next month, I won't make the same mistakes, I will enter the trade that I spot out and analyzed.