How can I say? What can I say?
Will I ever be able to get through all of those emotions of trading?
Boredom
Imagine sitting all day long staring directly at the screen, the dancing candlesticks, and no setup was found. What will you do?
I, myself, sometimes I will force a setup, yes, that's the most dangerous thing you can do as a trader. I even went into M1 timeframe, just to satisfy myself.
Even though there is nothing in the chart, but I don't want to feel "left out", to feel "behind".
I did that for 2 weeks, and guess what, my account dipped down fast, I mean, like riding down the hill, no break, nothing stopping me at all.
And luckily I realized, slow is fast, if I want to get rick quick, I will never be able to get to my destination, only when I realize I need to slow down and I can actually slow down, then we can talk about profitable.
Fear
I talked to many friends, watched countless hours of videos, read a bunch of books, and yet I have not overcome the fear within. Oh boy, they all say the same thing, just enter the trade, don't think.
But I can't, not couldn't, but I can't.
Every single time I try to enter a trade, my mind always comes up with a reason not to enter:
- It reached a block zone
- It retested
- It is not clear enough
- It's not worth
- More and more
And then you know, the price hit my entry, then went straight to my TP. Then I regret, I get angry about myself.
Lack of confidence
I said to people that I could not enter my trade because of fear, then what did they respond?
- Because you lack confidence in your strategy.
- Are you sure it's even profitable?
- If it's profitable, then why not you enter the trade?
Huh? Is that true?
But I know one thing for sure, my damn strategy is PROFITABLE.
So don't talk to me about all the same things that everyone is saying.
Sometimes I feel like I complain too much, keep saying the same reason over and over again, but that is my thoughts, my feelings.
People say you will awaken when you reach the bottom. But I think my awakening moment is when I get humiliated, but my girl said I was too sensitive only, no one meant it.
I have come to a conclusion, I don't want myself to be wronged, I don't allow myself to be wronged.
My solution?
Start from next week, I will just do my best part - analysis, and the part that I'm worse at - execute? I will transfer it to my friend, I will send him my analysis and he will do the rest, but.. something is not right, then why not I just enter myself, right?
I don't know, but I will try, also, I will reduce my lot size a bit, should I? I don't know if it's because my lot size that I feel the fear, no, maybe?
Damn, I lost my focus here, I will write later then.